Tripping down memory lane

I went to see a concert tonight. That may not be unusual, but the rush of emotions (not the brilliant kind) were definitely odd. I used to listen to that band a few years ago. During one of my darkest periods so far, so naturally I had a wave of memories beating me down in just a few moments. Oddly enough, I went to see the concert with the person who was largely responsible of the 3 rather horrible years that I had. And tonight, being there with her, I realised that while I have a better grip on reality, I’m still far from being alright. I make pretty much the same mistakes as I did before. Not very many lessons learned then. Quite disappointed in myself. Need to improve a lot more.
This is the first post written on the crappy tablet I mentioned in my previous post. Not too shabby. Thought it’s going to be a lot slower and more difficult at first. Auto correct is a huge help. Yay for me.

Here’s my wallpaper. Couldn’t be bothered to find a better one.

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A Nightmare Before Christmas

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Tomorrow day

Here goes.

A lot of time has passed since my last post. I can’t really apologise, because I doubt anyone has actually noticed that. Still working on a way of getting a handful of readers. And, by working on it, I mean doing absolutely nothing regarding that. Mind you, if my activity here is so poor, why bother? Are you interested? Are you even there? Here? Are you here?

December was an incredibly exhausting and busy month. If I wasn’t at work, I was sleeping. If I wasn’t doing that, I was hopping around the city looking for christmas presents and decorations with my sister. Christmas was good by the way. It took us 5 days in total to get everything we wanted and needed, but it was well worth it. For the second year in a row, me and my sister made christmas as it should be, as seen on television and in a true american way. Not that we know the american way of christmas, but we assume it has something to do with a ridiculous amount of presents, about 8x more food than is actually necessary and jazzy christmas songs found through youtube to brighten up the atmosphere while we would wrap up presents and cook meals enough for a lifetime. We actually made a duck. We. Alright, a kitchen is a relatively comfortable place for me to be, I know my way around it (a bit, at least). My sister on the other hand lives off anything that doesn’t have to be made with her own two hands – olives, pickles, some of that disgusting mold that she calls cheese, some cereal, yoghurt and things like that. The duck was terrible, but that’s because I eat meat so rarely that I often forget the taste of it. I mean, for anyone else the duck was good, very good, even for my sister who started eating meat again for the first time in like 15 years just recently. But everything was just too much, we overdid it. Which in my mind proves that we really had a true american-ish christmas.

I won’t get into much detail about new year’s eve and the celebration of the damn thing. I was at a club with her and her friends. Everything went well, despite the fact that I got completely wasted. I started drinking at 12:15 pm that day at work, we had our last performance of the year, so afterwards we just popped open one bottle after another and by the time I got to the club to meet up with her and her friends, I was blind drunk. Or drunk blind, or something. It was fun, though since I’m very old now, I just wanted a nice private party with some of my closest friends (that would also mean her, of course), a nice dinner and a nice glass of refreshing… well, alcohol. A glass or five, not twenty thousand. But I had to be with her when the clock passes midnight, I had to. There was no other way. I had to be with her. We are on odd terms. Meaning that there are no terms. Meaning that I don’t really understand anything, but am oddly fine with it, so long as there are not sudden messages with her explaining how different or alike we are (because both arguments seem to be valid reasons for her to snap my heart into more and more pieces). She’s a good person. A great person. But there’s a lot of unknowns inside of her. I’m just wondering how unknown am I.

Some days before christmas I decided to buy a tablet. I don’t need one, I have no real use for it, I barely understand how the bloody thing works, but I desperately wanted one, so I ordered the cheapest god damn tablet I could find on ebay. Including shipping, I paid 38 US dollars. Won it in a bidding war, which ended at around 2 am while I was still at work. It’s an android, it’s slow, the resolution on it is pathetic, the RAM and ROM memory both are crap, but I like having it. The only problem now is that I’d quite like a nicer tablet. Preferably an iPad, because android just seems… wrong in so many ways.

I keep arguing with my father about everything. Keep arguing? When did it start? Why haven’t I mentioned any of this before? Well, I’m not sure. We are as different as the nights are long. We barely have anything to talk about. Ever. Which means we can’t actually have meaningful conversations. And as I get older, I realise that so does he. Neither of us will be around forever. Neither one of us will change for the other. I just hope that at some point we’ll be able to reach a point where we truly have a father-son relationship, as it should be. As it should have been years ago. But time changes a lot of things in a person. Time has made us strangers. Time and the lack of understanding each other.

I hope you all had a wonderful December, a very merry christmas and a great beginning of the year. Things are going to change, doesn’t even matter if we want them to. Be ready.

macbook and tablet

The proper machine to the left, the piece of chinese junk to the right

It’s late. I have a free day tomorrow, I’ve watched a bit of Sherlock tonight, taken my meds and overall am feeling pleased with myself. That is, until morning comes. Tucked in and ready to quote Kanye West: “Goodnight cruel world, I’ll see you in the morning.”

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Toy-like people make me boy-like

There is a point (though for me those would be multiple points) when you snap somewhere deep inside. You snap like a tiny piece of twig and although you can stick the twig together with tape, it won’t actually be the same at all. It will be a twig wrapped around with some tape. That’s not really a twig, is it?

I’m only human, so I can’t switch on and off emotions or any part of the barely organised chaos that’s called my mind, but some things brake during time. With the “right” environment, the “correct” mindset, the “proper” inner state, things brake like fuck. No, nothing really gets deleted, nothing even makes as far as the trash bin, not for me anyway, but you reach a certain stage during which you levitate outside of your body, you take a look at yourself from afar and realise that it’s time to question whether people get what they deserve. Because I don’t deserve a lot that’s happening to me. Fine, everything that ever happens to anyone in a way is only the doing of one self, but generally speaking – shit just cannot keep hitting the fan constantly. There HAS to be an end to it. And I know I’m nowhere near the end, but thanks to toyish like attitude that I receive from toyish like people, I get to snap. And when I snap, I usually don’t snap back. Ever.

I’m perfectly aware that everyone can’t be a complete “yes” or “no” person. I’m fine with people being the “maybe” and “what if” type, but you have to have self-control, for if you haven’t got that much, there’s not much proof you really are human. A fragile human, as all humans are. But there are things that can be answered only with a yes or no answer. And those questions tend to be the big ones. And, I’m sorry, if you can’t make your mind up about the big issues in your or someone else’s life, that you have a massive sway in, you should spend some time re-thinking your strategy in life. Even if karma does not work or even exist, you will get what’s coming to you, one way or another.

We are responsible for those that we tame.

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My little hurricano

To the zero readers I have: I’m not dead, I have not abandoned the blog, I have not suffered something terrible in my life, nor have I lost my ability to push the keys on my computer.

In fact, everything is somewhat alright, which is just about as optimistic I get. What have I been up to, I hear no one asking? Ah, well, let me tell you.

I’ve been working a lot. And I mean a lot. December is always the busiest month of the year for our venue, so naturally the hours spent there seem to be never ending. I had a full 20 hour work day Friday (that stretched into the early morning of Saturday). I was completely wasted afterwards, but it was a good feeling. One of those feelings when you just know you’ve done well, when you know the hours were productive. It’s something of a high for me, which is good, I guess. Next week (or THIS week, since it’s technically Monday here) will only get more and more busy. Have no idea about the week after. We’ll see.

I had my birthday. I am now very old. I spent it with her and her friend. I honestly haven’t got a clue how it turned out that way, but it did. I have literary no clue what it all means or what it might lead to. All I know is that it’s best if I don’t overthink anything, don’t get my hopes up and just see what happens in the following weeks. Besides, with the work load I have coming up, I can’t really smear and smudge myself with anything either way. I know I have to be easy going, I know everything needs to work out in either direction more or less by itself. I know everything. That of course doesn’t mean I’m not scared shitless, but fear does wondrous things sometimes. I just hope this is one of those times.

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I have a very serious plan to get a car in the near future. Had a go in a friend’s Outlander. I’ve been thinking about that car for nearly a year. And  I do love every second of driving when I’m in it. Steering is a bit odd, but that’s normal for a big 4×4. Gearbox is great for a 4 speed. Sitting position is something I have to get used to, but I didn’t bother changing the seat or steering wheel position, so that’s something more to explore. Overall a good ride. They’re pretty cheap here, too. Depending on how careful I’m with my daily spending, I might be able to get my hands on one. Another thing that time will tell.

For now, have a good week and surely I’ll write something up during the week.

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Busybusybusy

There’s just something about reaching the very end of the day, finally coming home, making a hot cup of whatever and sitting down on the couch and just write about whatever you feel like writing. Though I do keep a journal, I use that for a lot of deep & dark thinking material, as raw as possible, hoping that one day I could use that for a new writing based project. Hey, maybe I’ll even write the great american novel, which would be… let’s say interesting, considering I’m nowhere near being americanish.

Today at work was busy. Had to be at our venue at 11 am, left there at almost exactly 11 pm. 12 hours of doing I’mnotevensure what. The first few hours were relaxing and easy. I finally learned my way through selling the tickets, so that whenever there’s a shortage of available hands – mine could fill those shoes (so in my mind hands fill the shoes, I suppose). I also worked my way through the coffee machine, which I’ve been meaning to do for months. I obviously won’t make the coffee for any customers, since I don’t work at the cafe/bar part, nor do I ever wish to work there, but since the hours to tend to be long, I guess finally being able to provide coffee for myself is as vital as ever now.

You might wonder where the hell do I work. Well, it doesn’t matter. It’s a concert/show/theatre type sort of venue in the very centre of the city. I’ve been a part of it (on and off) since summer 2013, I know every single person who works there and have known them for years, I played my part in making the grand opening happen and have been working there (whenever I’m needed) ever since.

The second part of the day was a bit tough, people started pouring in for the concert, some last minute changes had to be made with the seating, some not very smart people wandering around wondering where they actually have to be and so on. Made some ticket sales for other events, helped with making everything ready for the before and after parts of the concert. Barely had any time to rest, so the lower part of my back is a bit dead, but all in a days work.

Everything ended well and fine, the people seemed to really enjoy the concert, and that’s really what matters, I think.

Today was her name day (we actually have those around here, not sure about other places around the world), I sent her a message, trying to start up a tiny conversation, but naturally that didn’t work out. I imagine she’s somewhere with her friends celebrating and drinking. And yes, dear readers, there’s a her. There’s always someone like that.

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The end result. All worth it. Even the back pain.

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Music is definitely not through

 

I’ve listened to a whole lot of Sinatra in during my short adolescent life. I have also turned my attention to Jamie Cullum for the last 4 years or so, and I honestly believe that Cullum is a modern day version of Sinatra in many ways. Cullum has a lot more pop sort of feel to his music though, but my guess is that back then a large portion of Sinatra’s music passed for what we call today pop  See what you think…

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Automatic weather

cold and depressing

It’s sunday. That would mean that monday is upon us, and I don’t know about you, but for me that essentially means I have to get back to pretending I’m striving for more in this life, when really I’m far from it. Mainly because I’ve yet to decide what exactly do I want. No, wait, that’s not right. I do know what I want, the question is how to overcome invisible obstacles that are on fire (which is also invisible, of course) and shoot invisible darts at me, to actually get what I want.

The weather is cold and gloomy, my apartment is less bright during the day and I am nowhere near prepared for the liberating whiteness of winter. I do enjoy it (for about 3 days), but I feel my mind wandering about, mostly back to summer. The reasons for this are many and each one more complicated, boring and cheesy than the last, so I won’t even bother at this exact moment, but I do wish to share my overall fear of what comes. Sure, it’s easier to hide yourself during winter. Or even this late part of autumn. You just put on a ton of layer of clothes, which I tend not to do, because I keep telling myself: “It’s not that cold, you don’t need a hat, you don’t need a big sweater, you don’t need gloves or a scarf.”, when in reality I step outside and freeze to death instantly. That’s how far I’m willing to go to ignore everything around me. Including mother nature. It gets dark fairly quick, so you don’t really notice people and (I hope) they don’t notice you. So, yes, it is easier to hide. And everyone is in such a rush to get anywhere indoors that you can actually look completely miserable and no one will even bother looking at you twice.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not a madman who suffers outrageously whenever the weather gets a bit off for my liking. Not at all, I just can’t seem to prepare myself. I refuse to prepare myself. I still have to manage to get my hands on a car, otherwise I’ll lock myself up in my apartment until May 2016. Not a diesel car, obviously. I had a diesel last year. It managed to kill two turbines in a six month period. And it was a golf! They’re supposed to be reliable. So, no thank you, I’ll stick to petrol. Pure, delicious petrol. And an automatic. I live in a pretty busy city, the capital of Latvia, so I honestly see no rational reason for myself to shift endlessly through two gears and as a result getting more angry about the car in front of me or next to me. Not that I’m an aggressive driver, I just hate being packed in traffic jams. Especially when you have to use the bloody clutch all the time. Why make driving less comfortable and more complex? What could possibly be the point of that? Sure, if you have a sports car or an M series BMW or something of the sort, I totally get it, it’s a car that’s made for long shifts between the gears, it’s something you want and should be able to control, but if you drive 99 % around a busy city which often just stands still or moves slower than my self-esteem towards extinction, then you don’t need a manual gearbox.

Bit off topic here. Or is it? How can one possibly be off topic in one’s blog? One can’t.

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To birthday or not to birthday?

The amount of time that was put into drawing this useless thing is so ridiculous it's not even funny

The amount of time that was put into drawing this useless thing is so ridiculous it’s not even funny

 

In just a couple of weeks my birthday will be arriving without invitation. Now, I won’t really say how old I’ll be (or am), but that honestly doesn’t matter at this point. What does matter, however, is whether I should bother celebrating it or not. See, I hate my birthdays. I literary hate them with all possible means. I’m not entirely sure why. A fancy therapist would dig deep asking me countless questions about my birthdays as a child, I could only tell her that I don’t remember any. Not because I didn’t have any or had any that were celebrated, but because I’ve tried desperately to cut my childhood out of the memories that we tend to keep easily accessible. I know perfectly well I can’t erase them (not unless I figure out a home-made way for a lobotomy or something), I just don’t fancy them all that much, so I store them in a far away corner, pretend they’re not there and just keep going about my business. Does it work, I can almost hear (no one) asking? Yes, it does, actually. But nevermind. If I tell my therapist that, then I’m sure I’ll be buried alive by a wave of seemingly endless questions. And I don’t really fancy that either. ANYWAY. The point being that I hate my birthdays. I like celebrating the birthdays of others, but never my own.

Today was my sister’s birthday. We had a relatively small celebration with just the closest friends and family. Today we all felt exhausted for some reason, so we decided the “party-mood-celebration” will take place tomorrow after a concert we’re all attending. And it made me wonder about what in the living hell should I do with my own. I’m totally aware that I won’t figure out any plan of action (or a plan for lack of action) by writing here or losing sleep over it tonight, but since this is a free space for me to vomit whatever thoughts I can manage into words, I shall feel free to continue rambling on as if no judgement could be passed on me. What am I saying? Of course there will be no judgement – there’s no one here to judge. That, I suppose, is the upside of having no readers.

 

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Astoņpadsmitais, ne astoņpadsmitais

Kā es aizvadu šodienas svētkus? Visādā ziņā ne patriotiski. Skatos Facebukā, cilvēki liek bildītes ar saklātiem svētku galdiem, ar Latvijas karodziņiem vai citiem aksesuāriem, kuri piedien šai dienai. Visi tādi grezni sapucējušies un nacionālistiski noskaņoti. Nu, saprotams, ka visi tādi ir tikai šodien. Visas pārējās dienas ir kaut kas par ko vaidēt, ir valdība, kura visu dara slikti, ir likumi, kas nekam neder, ir paniskas bailes no bēgļiem un dusmas uz valdību, ka tā uzņems tos piecsimt-cik-tur. Es jau nesaku, ka ir slikti svinēt šos svētkus. Man tikai ir zināmas pretenzijas pret cilvēku uzpūsto, pēkšņo patriotismu.

Es nesvinu. Tā visa vietā, es šodien kārtīgi izgulējos (nu, labi, pārāk daudz izgulējos, ja godīgi), absolūti nelegāli savā datorā ielādēju jaunāko NCIS sēriju, lēni un mierīgi brokastoju skatoties vairāk vai mazāk patriotisku ASV seriālu. Es nezinu. Man šķiet, ka, ja ir iespēja, tad iesākt dienu ārprātīgi lēni skatoties kādu sev tīkamu seriālu un brokastis izvēršot pa pusi no dienas ir pilnīgi civilizēts pamošanās rituāls.

Ko es ar to visu gribēju teikt, tiešām nezinu. Svētku noskaņa man 18. novembros nekad lāgā nav bijusi. Nav jau tā, ka man nepatiktu Latvija. Patīk! Es skaidri zinu, ka negribētu nekur citur dzīvot, vismaz ne tuvākajos gados. Es varu droši apgalvot, ka šo sīko zemes pleķi identificēju kā savas mājas, kā savu vietu, bet vai es kristu par šo zemi? Domāju, ka nē. Šaubos, vai ir daudz tādu, kas kristu. Mēs pat protestēt neprotam, kur nu vēl upurēt sevi savas zemes vārdā.

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Parīze cieš, bet ne viena

Vairs neatminos, kur atradu šo foto. Nesūdziet mani tiesā.

Vairs neatminos, kur atradu šo foto. Nesūdziet mani tiesā.

Es ļoti īsi parunāšu (pats ar sevi) par nenoliedzami aktuālāko tēmu šobrīd – Parīzi. Un drusku terorismu kā tādu.

Dīvainā kārtā, ir dalīti viedokļi. Ir tie viedokļi, kas visur liek haštagus PrayForParis, ir viedokļi, kas pārstāv PrayForWorld. Tad ir tie viedokļi, kas atzīst un slavina i’ to, kas notika Parīzē, i’ to, kas notiek pasaulē. Tie viedokļi ir, visticamāk, pašu radikāļu vai vismaz viņu atbalstītāju viedokļi, tāpēc tam uzmanību pievērst ir tikpat nozīmīgi, kā pievērst uzmanību šallēm, kas skaitā gandrīz jau pārsniedz 3 miljardus, kuras sadāvinātas Ziemas un citos svētkos, kuras tāpat nekad netiek izmantotas.

129 mirušie (šur tur gan saka, ka vairāk) un 352 ievainotie, no kuriem 99 ir kritiskā stāvoklī, ir kaut kas tik vājprātīgs, ka brīžiem to ir grūti aptvert. Grūti aptvert laikam ir tāpēc, ka pats nedzīvoju Parīzē, un, sauksim lietas īstajos vārdos, neviens cilvēks, kurš nedzīvo Parīzē vai nav kaut kā personiski saistīts ar kādu no mirušajiem vai ievainotajiem, nekad tā īsti nesapratīs to sajūtu, kas tur tobrīd valda. To sajūtu, kāda būtu jājūt, nosaka mediji (vienalga, pasaules vai vietējie tvnet’i), bet viņi jau arī īsti nesajēdz to sajūtu, tā ka beigu beigās mēs saprotam neko. Bet ne par to. Jā, ir jālūdz par Parīzi, par Francijas stingro nostāju un viņu atriebi uzsākot bombardēšanu Sīrijā, bet, gribot negribot, vienīgais iemesls, kāpēc par to ir tik liels pārdzīvojums, šoks un dusmas, ir tāpēc, ka tas notika tā dēvētajā civilizētajā pasaulē. Attīstītajā pasaulē. Demokrātiskā un nevainīgā pasaulē. Jo mirušo un cietušo skaits nav lielāks par to, kas katru otro, trešo dienu mirst ISIS (lietoju ISIS, jo latviešu apzīmējums kaut kā netīk) kontrolētajās, vai drīzāk – okupētajās – teritorijās. Vai teritorijās, kuras ir pakļautas ISIS centieniem tās okupēt. Jebkurā gadījumā, pasaules šoks jau ir tieši par to, mūsu, prasto latviešu, šoks ir tieši par to. Jo tas ir tuvu. Jo mēs esam fiziski relatīvi tuvu Parīzei. Zinošākie arī ir lietas kursā, ka arī Latvija ir kalifāta melnajā kartē un sarakstā, līdz ar to – kāpēc domāt, ka mēs nevaram būt un nebūsim rindas kārtībā nākošie? Mans subjektīvais viedoklis gan ir, ka Vācija var ciest nākošā. Tīri tāpēc, ka bēgļu pieplūdums tur ir visizteiktāktais Eiropā, tāpēc arī statistiski lielāka iespēja, ka starp bēgļiem var pagadīties arī kāds, kurš nav bēglis. Ko es ar to domāju, tam vajadzētu būt vairāk kā skaidram.

Nē, bēgļu plūsma nav pie notikušā vainīga. Nebūs vainīga arī pie jebkā cita, kas, nedod dievs, var notikt citur. Eiropa cilvēku skaita ziņā pamazām izmirst, tāpēc, protams, ka bēgļi nāks uz šejieni. Saūda Arābija viņus vispār pasūta septiņdesmit mājas tālāk, kaut arī spītīgi apgalvo, ka ir uzņēmuši jau divus miljonus. Nemaz nerunājot par to, ka tuvie austrumi standartā nav droša, stabila lokācija pasaulē. Iedomājieties sevi bēgļu vietā. Jūs pa galvu, pa kaklu bēgat prom no savām mājām, lai… dotos uz potenciāli tikpat nestabilu valsti? Nē, es domāju, ka galīgi nē. Problēma nav bēgļi. Problēma ir Eiropas nesagatavotība tos uzņemt (katrs, atvainojos, sasodītais cilvēks būtu, bļe, ar pirkstu nospiedumiem jāreģistrē un attiecīgi robežu kontrolei kā tādai VISĀS Eiropas valstīs jau sen vajadzēja būt atjaunotai), kā arī problēma ir imigranti. Es izmisīgi ceru, ka, ja kāds šo lasa, zina, ka imigranti un bēgļi ir divas pilnīgi atšķirīgas operas. Labi, bombardēt teritorijas, kur ir skaidri zināms, ka ISIS brašuļi atrodās, ir pilnīgi normāli un pareizi, tikai nevajag naivi cerēt, ka tas ir problēmas risinājums. Tas atrisinās neko. Vienīgais, ko var panākt ar to ir, pirmkārt, radikāļu čupas noslaktēšana (kas ir ļoti labi, saprotams, jo lai viņi ar savu kalifātu iet nahuj), otrkārt, viņu resursu (ieroču, naudas, utt) iznīcināšana, kas arī ir lieliski, bet, treškārt, tas viss viņus padarīs tikai vairāk uzvilktus. ISIS nefokusējas kontrētā valstī vai konkrētas valsts teritorijā. Viņiem nav savas zemes, viņiem nav nekāda piederība nekam. Un tieši tāpēc bombardēšana ilgtermiņā neatrisinās neko. Un ko darīt tā vietā, es, goda vārds, nezinu. Kājiniekus likt iekšā nebūtu gluži prātīgi (bet būtu saprotami no, teiksim, Francijas un Krievijas puses), jo tad izbēgt no vārda karš vairs nebūs iespējams, tas arī būtu pilnīgs slaktiņš, manuprāt. Ieguvumi no tā būtu mazāki, nekā zaudējumi.

Visi pārmet ASV un Obamas administrācijai tās vājo nostāju cīnoties pret ISIS. Un es arī drusku pārmetu. Tieši šī iemesla dēļ es esmu diezgan pārliecināts, ka nākošā gada rudenī, kad būs ASV prezidentu vēlēšanas, uzvarēs kāds republikānis. Un, kā jau zināms, republikāņi mīl divas lietas: savu kristiešu dievu un kārtīgu kristiešiem neraksturīgu karu. Slaktiņu, triljoniem dolāru izmešanu savā militārajā budžetā un par katru cenu izrādīties pasaulei, ka viņu arsenāls ir krutāks un labāks. Lai nu kā, visi pārmet. Bet, ja reālistiski paskatās, a ko tad tam Obamam darīt? Bombardēt viņš jau bombardē. Ko vēl? Kā iznīcināt organizāciju, kas pārmaiņas pēc ir organizēta, kas nekur konkrēti nepieder, kurai līderus var nomainīt kā zeķes? Jā, protams, ka ASV nostājai ir jābūt stingrākai par vecu baltmaizes kluci, bet, dzirdot to lielo kritikas daudzumu, es nedzirdu nevienu (racionālu) priekšlikumu, kā tad būtu labāk, pareizāk un efektīvāk darīt. Bombardēt vēl vairāk? Un ko tad? Ko pēc tam, kad tas tāpat neiznīcina nedz ISIS, nedz tos neskaitāmos atzarus, kas viņiem ir klāt? Kodolkarš? Smieklīgi.

Der padomāt. Un tiešām der palūgt da jebkuru no dieviem par pasauli. Arī par Parīzi. Bet arī par to pašu Sīriju. Un par bēgļiem (BĒGĻIEM), kuriem ir jāpamet viss, ko viņi dzīvē zina, lai tikai viņus nenogalinātu. Un, atcerēsimies, ka radikālie islāmistisi maz šauj uz sev līdzīgajiem. Viņu metodes ir līdzīgas tām, kas notiek Āfrikā, kad kādā valstī psihopāts nonāk pie militārā arsenāla.

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